GUNS N' ROSES N' Promises: Is 'Chinese Democracy' Ever Coming Out?
November 27, 2007Peter Hartlaub of the San Francisco Chronicle reports: There's something missing this holiday season, and it's not just the lack of inclement weather.
For the first time in years, nobody is spreading rumors about the imminent arrival of a new GUNS N' ROSES album. "Chinese Democracy", which has been on the verge of coming out for the better part of a decade, currently has no pre-release buzz, a fact that makes us want to start a rumor right now. Things are a little bit too quiet ...
At this point, though, it might be better if the album didn't come out. A release of "Chinese Democracy" would be like O.J. Simpson suddenly finding the real killer. Aging metal-heads' hearts would give out. Stock markets would crash. MTV newsman Kurt Loder would probably have to stop working, and so would Larry King. (At this point, does anyone doubt that they're the same person?)
When Peanuts creator Charles Schulz announced his retirement in the late 1990s, there was much talk about his final strip. One popular prediction was that Charlie Brown would finally get to kick the football — advice that Schulz very wisely didn't take. If Charlie Brown kicked the football, it would undo 50 years of good comics with one bad one.
That's exactly how I feel about "Chinese Democracy". We, the remaining GUNS N' ROSES fan base, are Charlie Brown. The album is the football. And Axl Rose is Lucy, repeatedly setting deadlines he knows he'll never make, because the public is gullible enough to believe him. (I think Slash is Schroeder in this analogy, and Stephanie Seymour is the Little Red-Haired Girl, although I haven't totally thought that part out.)
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